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TechCrunch's Gigster profile is proof tech journalists will believe just about anything

Read this if you want a giggle.

Got a startup idea? That and some cash is all you need to get a fully functional app built for you by Gigster. Launching today, Gigster is a full-service development shop, rather than a marketplace where you have to manage the talent you find.

Oh, you mean like hundreds of other software development companies?

Just go to Gigster’s site, instant message with a sales engineer, tell them what you want built, and in 10 minutes you get a guaranteed quote for what it will cost and how long it will take.

10 minutes for a fully estimated project plan: that’s the biggest load of bilge I’ve ever heard.

Once you get your project back, Gigster will even maintain the code, and you can pay to add upgrades or new features.

You bet. Can you get anyone else to add upgrades or features? Or do they have any IP interest or right of first refusal? Those sort of questions are things a journalist might ask. But, oh, this is tech journalism.

And “maintain”. Bit more detail required.

Gigster fixes [management issues] by assigning a project manager to handle 100 percent of the management of your developers and be your sole point of contact. If the project is behind schedule, Gigster just assigns more developers to it or fires under-performing ones so it gets done on time.

Yeah, let’s ignore that the Mythical Man Month problem is a thing. Chuck more developers at the problem! “Beatings will continue until morale improves” is not a good management philosophy.

I’m sure that when your motivation is “get this shit out the door and get cash money now” and your clients are the sort of idiots who believe that they can hire coders like they do Uber cabs, you’ll produce reliable, well-tested and secure code. Right? I mean, no motivation to cut corners or anything.

The Gigsters come from companies like Google or Stripe that are looking for some extra projects

I’m sure they don’t have any no-compete or employer-owns-all-employee-produced-IP constraints in their contracts. Should work out just fine, right up until the client finds out that Google or Facebook owns a whole bunch of their IP.

10 minutes for full project costings? Mythical Man Month solved? This snake oil sure is deee-licious.

The idea that a guy who has built a whole bunch of Facebook apps is going to wave a magic wand and make software development cheap, predictable and with the kind of modularity and simplicity of booking a cab is such a laughable notion that the only people I can see believing it are tech journalists.