I present: Marriage Bingo. If you are going to watch the Parliamentary debate on the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill, you too can play along at home with the bingo card. Keep your eyes peeled for backbench Tories saying utterly horrible, bigoted, homophobic things (which aren’t bigoted or homophobic because they say they aren’t bigoted or homophobic, and it makes you a ghastly free-speech-suppressing Nazi to call someone a bigot).
Anyway, if you get to cross all the boxes, you get a wonderful prize: the realisation that even though Parliament may be on the verge of legalising same-sex marriage, it’s still filled with a lot of horrible, vicious, out-of-touch, homophobic arseholes. And they get to write our legislation. Democracy is truly wonderful.