Back in my childhood, I used a typewriter. I remember typing up school reports on it when I was eleven. One of the many practical things my mother taught me to do is to type. And I can do it pretty damn well: I'm stunned that people live in a so-called knowledge economy and can't touch type. Seriously. If you can't touch type and using a computer is something you need to do for work, stop reading this and go learn how to type. There's plenty of free software that teaches you how to do it. It's really pretty simple: you learn where the keys are. You keep the fingers of your left hand on the ASDF keys and the fingers of your right hand on the JKL; keys. You keep your thumbs on the space bar. You can now comfortably reach all the keys on your keyboard. Use all your fingers. Learn to type until you can do at least sixty words per minute without looking at your hands. Look at the screen. 
On typing, I was told by a family member a while back that their office was recruiting a receptionist and secretary. They had to lower the typing requirements because they couldn't find anyone who could satisfy 60 WPM. They dropped it to 40. Seriously. Last time I tested my typing, I was doing 95 or something. What a joke. This is a multinational company, with offices in the Square Mile. I'm not kidding.
Anyway, I saw a really goofy article today listing obsolete technologies. Apparently television remotes should be replaced with iPhones. Because, you know, a tenner to replace your TV remote isn't nearly as fun as a few hundred to replace your all singing, all dancing smartphone. And landlines are old hat. Just use a mobile. Duh. Despite the fact that, oh, a mobile call can cost fifteen or thirty times that of a landline call. And there are places - funny, weird rural places - where mobile signals don't exist. He does see that registration forms suck on websites, but doesn't seem to grasp that there is a solution for that called OpenID. It's kind of nifty, I hear. And, well, apparently "http" has gone to the scrap bucket. I mean, it's not very useful to be able to figure out what protocol you are using. From now on, if you don't include "http", I may presume that you are using gopher. Or inviting me to telnet to you. Yeah, I'm old school. Go fuck yourself.
This kind of breathless techno-optimism used to be my stock in trade. But it has really become damn grating. I'm not a Luddite. Hell. I'm not sure that it's possible to know how to code in as many programming languages as I do, own an iPod, three laptops, two mobiles and be able to quote verbatim from some W3C/IETF specs and consider oneself a Luddite unless one significantly bends the definition of Luddite. What the techno-optimists don't get is that new technology gives us great things, but it also takes away good stuff. Everything is a tradeoff.
I thought I would give you a little New Years treat: a comparison of two word processing technologies. On one hand, we have Google Docs, an online, 'cloud' computing, browser-based word processor. On the other, we have a manual typewriter. I haven't owned said manual typewriter for a few years. Said machine was an turquoise blue SM9 made by Olympia Werke AG.
The advantages of Google Docs are fairly apparent. If you have a document in Docs, you can access it from any computer that has a relatively modern web browser and access to the Internet. You can also share documents created in Docs with others who can collaboratively edit your document. This is widely considered an advantage, although that rather depends on the people who you invite to edit the document. If they are a bit on the dense side, you may find yourself going through and putting all the long words back in after they've been edited out.
Google Docs presents you with a wide variety of typeface choices, including bold, italic, underline and coloured variants. You can export your document in a number of formats including RTF, Word, PDF and OpenDocument. You can also print said documents using a printer.
The typewriter has some comparative advantages. It is relatively sturdy and is now quite inexpensive. If a burglar enters your home, you can drop your typewriter on them from above. This will subdue them but will probably count as "reasonable force" under the laws of England. Google servers cannot do likewise. The browser environment in which Google Docs is used is rife with opportunities for distraction. Websites such as Twitter, Facebook and YouTube sit ready to distract you with only a few keystrokes. To get the most out of Google Docs, you must use an arcane device known as a mouse. It's widely popular with computer users, even though it's inefficient and a ready cause of poor posture, which can lead to repetitive strain injuries (RSIs). These are best avoided - those with hackerish tendencies can avoid the use of the mouse with a judicious amount of hacks and custom programming. This is fun, but ultimately distracting from doing one's work.
As energy security seems to be a prime concern today, the typewriter has some splendid advantages over Google Docs. It requires no electricity to operate. A supply of candles and matches enables you to continue working even during power downtimes. The storage mechanism used by the typewriter is inexpensive, recyclable, relatively easy to duplicate, and durable, except when exposed to flames. Like Google Docs, documents produced on a typewriter are portable: slipping them inside a case enables them to be carried. The typewriter storage format is open. A free implemenetation of the format is routinely installed on a device owned by at least 500 million people. The semantics of this format have been studied in depth by scholars and is subject of no known patents or intellectual property encumberances.
Material produced with the typewriter is subject to seizure and inspection by relevant law authorities in your country. To do so, a search warrant must be acquired by said authorities and then executed. Materials produced with the typewriter may then be seized and inspected by the authorities. Material produced with the typewriter can be safely and securely destroyed with a shredder or by use of a technology known as fire. Material produced on Google Docs is subject to a complex service agreement with Google Inc. Said agreement is bound by the laws of the United States. The typewriter comes with no such legal obligations. Material produced using online services like Google Docs may be supplied to others without your knowledge. You cannot guarantee deletion in a similarly robust manner as you can by setting light to a paper document.
The typewriter is relatively immune from distractions. I have not kept up with the sales literature produced by industry, but I am not familiar with any typewriters that provide access to Facebook or other online services. The typewriter sadly does not support the widely-implemented Unicode standard. Those who require custom character sets will find these supplied: accented European characters are available, as are Cyrillic. Most typewriters are limited to some small subset of the US-ASCII standard though, although the medium can support custom extensions to the existing character set by using a device known as a pen. Minimal editing can be achieved with the use of a bottle of correctional fluid. More complex editing can be achieved by reproducing the text on a separate sheet up until the first error occurs, then entering the corrected text. Such editing can be avoided by taking the time to think out what you want to write before pushing the relevant letter keys.
Many have also reported aesthetic improvements related to the use of the typewriter. It provides comprehensive user feedback in the form of a loud 'clack' noise upon successful entry of each character. Upon reaching the end of the line, many signal the need to proceed to the next line with a bell noise. This is acknowledge by pushing the output carriage to the right. Such audible feedback may present problems to deaf users, but many hearing users find great satisfaction in the user of the typewriter. There are some practical downsides. Unlike the wide range of small and powerful laptop computers now available, it is considered rude to use a manual typewriter on public transportation, although there are few reported thefts of said devices. Similarly, research libraries, offices and universities have not set up comprehensive policies regarding typewriter usage, although one is blessed by not having to keep track of the location of power and Ethernet sockets.
The comparative lack of typographic options is considered a serious feature lacking from manual typewriters. This need not be the concern it is made out to be: lack of typographical options provides one less distraction for the writing of drafts.
For those seeking a useful middle ground, the use of a programmers text editor is an often useful substitute when access to a manual typewriter is impractical, expensive or socially frowned upon. A current setup that satisfies my Spartan needs is provided by a heavily customised MacVim installation in full screen mode. One must exercise careful self-discipline to ensure that one's work does not float in the background while one wastes hours exploring the Internet. Editing is possible in MacVim, and the implementation is not half-hearted like Google Docs. A clear delineation is made between Insert mode, which allows one to churn words out typewriter-style and Normal mode, where one can sculpt the words with knife-like precision. The software also does not demand the use of the mouse, but the mouse can be used for those duly afflicted. For those who miss the sound of a typewriter in use, there are two commercial applications available for the Macintosh - Typewriter Keyboard and Keyclick. I could not get the latter to work, and the former became quite annoying after a few minutes - not like the real thing at all! Users of this solution are able to share their material by publishing it on the Internet or by sharing it over e-mail, or by printing the material on to paper. The material may be destroyed securely using "Secure Empty Trash" commands. Users are advised to understand the laws regarding search and seizure by law enforcement agencies of their computing files, and to consider employing strong encryption technologies for confidential material.
While not as low tech as using a manual typewriter, two useful desiderata can be achieved. Firstly, Internet access is not required to access one's documents. You can, of course, use rsync, unison or other backup/sync software to make your data available elsewhere - but this solution works just as well without Internet access. This includes many rural areas without adequate 3G or GPRS coverage, railway tunnels, aeroplanes, sea vessels and secure working environments. Sadly, you cannot run Vim without some electricity supply, although it is certainly possible to run on low-power machines such as the range of low-power "nettops" which draw less than 10W. Many small netbooks can now be setup with batteries that last over six hours.
I hope this comparative review helps you make the difficult decision between cloud computing, a text editor and a typewriter. If you are still having difficulty deciding, I suggest you enjoy this video of Larry Ellison ranting about cloud computing for a few minutes. Happy new year.
