Simon Jenkins thinks that tyrannical computer keyboards and e-mail are destroying our humanity.
I must say, I do like pens. I particularly like the fact that nobody feels any guilt in stealing my pens, while they would feel significantly more guilt stealing my computer. I like the fact that anyone could write a letter claiming to be me, but if you get an e-mail from me which you aren't sure comes from me, you can send it back to me for signing and unless it validates to the GPG key A6A4F54E, you can know that it did not come from me.
So soulless - tyrannical even! What is really tyrannical is that I can get access to every e-mail I've sent or received recently from anywhere in the world in seconds. That's so repressive and brutal.
Yesterday, I went in to the Apple Store in London - a factory of iron-handed despotism, since they make and sell those infernal typing machines! - and when I paid for my diabolical purchase, they offered to e-mail me the receipt. For the love of Jehovah, I want it calligraphed (in Crown-appointed reprocessed sheep dung, of course) by an elf in a top hat and tail-coat on a sheet of vellum and sealed with the crest of the Retail Establishment! Anything else would be boorish and uncultured! How soulless and repressive this Modern Society has become! Whatever dastardly creation will cruelly dominate our Public Spirit next? Blue, underlined links that you can "click" on? Oh well, at least it keeps an opinion column writer in business!
