Tom Morris: 2003-08-03

2003.08.03

Why are they dead? Why? Thanks to Scientology, that's why. Let us never forget the flames these people carry, but remember them. They died at the hands of true evil. Then after their death, the families of these people continued to be harrassed by the Church of Scientology. Scientology - together we can bring it down.

Cheeky Cheeky! 2007-05-05T09:38:50Z

Thank some higher being (whatever) that I'm not going abroad on holiday this year. (Ananova) Because the last thing I could face hearing as I left this country is a rendition of "We are the Cheeky Girls, we are the Cheeky Girls - you are the Cheeky boys, you are the Cheeky boys." Why don't people just go the whole hog and become pornstars rather than being pornstar-lite pop stars and forcing inane Eurodance down our throats whenever you flick on the radio?

Even more worrying - they're releasing a Boney M cover tommorow. It's enough to make me want to go deaf voluntarily. Now, I'm just trying to work out what crimes, torts or European Convention on Human Rights articles this new single and their forthcoming album might be committing. I think that it may be committing the tort of 'nuisance', possibly GBH against my eardrums, and it falls foul of the ECHR on Articles 2 (right to life - because after hearing The Cheeky Song your life is as good as over), 3 (prohibition of torture), 9 (freedom of thought - because after hearing aforementioned track, you won't be thinking any longer) and 10 (because you won't be expressing yourself in any meaningful way either - just mindlessly repeating that "we are the cheeky girls").

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